I Recoil from my own Substance Use, this Gift of God.

From the day I put down the first drink, from July 22, 1987, as I drove in terror away from the last of breaking into lasting full-time teaching, at that moment I recognized my utter terror, the dreams drinking and drugging had torn away from my soul, this shall I ever weep because I had been an outstanding teacher but meeting in the pub of my former life I now even now feel heavy in my soul, and yet, if what I see as true, I have now the Lord, and I am promised that someday, all will be revealed. I remember thinking of my own sentence of life, that psychosis would tear from me only part of my dreams. God has promised that my own writing

Joy in my Life

It is joy hearing rain pound

On simple air, on days we will suggest

Reality within my backyard, confines

Of our white privacy fence, snow

Again on April 1st we see development

Of growing younger year by precocious

Year, when days dance in and out

Of more simplicity of mind, singing birds

Singing, I mean singing, songbirds far

Away in more land than one could walk

This is music, this is music, violence gone,

More peace will surface with glory of cloud

Snow let loose, rain switching

Blizzard Wesley and Home

We did not expect this storm on April 10th, 2019. We weren’t stocked with the right kinds of food. The roads quickly became impassible, and the lights went out. We did not have enough food in our home because most edibles were in our new LG refrigerator, a Christmas Present replacing the old leaking Frigidaire. Our old electric stove sat in the house but didn’t match the rest of the appliances now Besides it had taken major cosmetic dings and though and didn’t match excellent LG microwave oven, nor the new fridge. What good were these appliances without access to dry goods, caned goods that could provide nutritious meals. We’d opted for our small remodeled kitchen equipped all new matching appliances. Marge never liked a dishwasher, so that space became new counter top at the time for the remodel. But, even so Wesley took us completely off guard, this the strongest Blizzard on record. Wesley started out as a simple rain and snow shower and quickly developed into the strongest winter storm on record. Our new appliances were dependent’t on that beautiful new LG refrigerator, and we were dependent on electricity.

Almost all of our food is in this lovely new refrigerator. However, we had a few cans of soup, tuna, and crushed tomatoes, paste, sauce, most fixings for spaghetti. First roads became impassible about 10 p.m. and lights began to flicker. Lights had performed such a dance in winter storms in the past, but even with warnings on our computers, in the newspaper, and we didn’t heed media believing News and weather sources might exaggerate our situation. After all, one does not expect more than the average snow storm on April 10th, the middle of Spring. The Lord seemed far away that evening and not in need. We underestimated all our friends, and pastor Jan, my friends, what could they do?

I Sit Easily with my Wife

I am 67-years-old,

Marjorie meaning Pearl

Tells me I am not

Living in “The Now,”

I love her– we have been

Together almost 39 years,

We live easily, me in my

Easy chair, her wits greater

She lounges back supported

With her couch, reading

Device I’ve bought her

Two on time payments,

For me, asking is all,

For her being is all,

I write, she reads, silver

Hair thick, covering

Intellect, with reminders,

Mine, bald with minders,

Both brilliant, l both realization,

Converting Agape from Love

It wasn’t easy, we made it

Some divorce, with help,

Daughter is safe.

I sit in meditation,

She reads, cooks our

Meal in her kitchen,

Always resolved to care for me.

Die in Morning Sun

When we rise to glorious

Sun rising above treeline,

When green becomes ancient

In our vision, then spring brings

Me hollyhocks, tulips in red, glorious

Are these in dark red, deep purple.

Gradient of sun gives color, shape

In petals, leaf, vine irises nearly

Blue, breathe given us, always

Wonderment of spring, water

Most usually most needed, never

Like this year, flood, water, deluged

Each fields standing in water, rain

In fall, blizzard after blizzard. Days

When snow piled above our skyline,

Clear, white, clear brown, white again,

Finally, green showing in April, then

Another snow, white, heavy with wet,

What more could I envision in early May

Green gone into every root, vine

Shoot of grass, rising above, farms

Still deluged, water standing in low

Sinking to bottom of field, tree stand,

Homesteads, family farms, given

Generation to generation, loveingly

Handed from father to son, big

Machinery, tractors, disk and plow,

Mercy of wind with no till, most Sun

\Rising daily to continue each morning,

Pushing up seed, to become ready October

Harvest through November, into dark

Days when sun rises