Pain digs starting at three
p.m. I sit divided between day
Night division into 11p.m.
This knife, or razor cut
Into lips, then cheeks, tongue
Wagging free for reasons no
One knows for sure, lake
Of fire this is not, this deformity
Genetic, more, we don’t know
For sure, men but dear Susan
Has it, Ankylosing Spondylitis
Mine will never fuse as hers
Did in spine, mine setteled
Into my neck, for strength
Pain, I have both, Deirdre
Dear, substantial against type
Two diabetes, losing weight
As I did, we come down my last
A1C1 gave me 5.9, and sugar about
Ninety, we glorify in weight loss.
I am different, my pain in bones
Crumbling beneath neck skin,
By afternoon full pressure
Of gravity pulling at muscles,
Spinal cord compression, bone
Spurs, left, right, front, back, down
Up, tied around one bone nerve
How that is not real? I don’t
Know,
I have gone beyond muscle tied
To head, and now even Tylnol
Large dose spread to three times,
Pain pill alternate four times.
Largest nerve med. into four
Finally I relax into one relaxer.
We avoid opiates unless, best is
Lidocaine patch chest, back
Into measured doses, it works,
I have minimal pain in which
I body scan, using CDs of Jon
Kabat-Zinn, Zazen entirely
Different than sitting meditation,
Seeking emptiness, another
Wisdom avoiding pain altogether.