It is not anathema. It is not sordid. It is a medical diagnosis standard, and without fear. I sit here to tell you that most of the time I have “normal” behavior, without manic or hypomanic behavior. I am filled with joy, not all the time, and sometimes punctuated with anger, but less so than before the long journey of 33 years that brought me this point. There is also so much gratitude behind my words for the men and women who brought to this point of happiness and sometimes even joy. These people include doctors, therapists, nurses, social workers, and clergy. Without the spiritual factor my life would be useless. I point to such measures as prayer, meditation, writing both poetry and prose, verse, and essay. I earned a number of degrees that allowed me full exploration of my condition resulting in long winding paths, pieces of writing expressing beauty. Images of family became straight as I journaled difficulties and even advance in my personality. Because of writing beauty in every aspect of sound, rhythm, image, metaphor, paintings both despicable and joyous in poems and words, what to call them? Now I take grat wonder and ecstasy while pumping myself out of depression, and finding meaning in my very existence. What ever worshiping you engage in, I urge you, with the psychiatric diagnosis of any kind, to seek out your Higher Power, no matter, always positive in every way in my life, and forgiving to my deepest behaviors, I have left that behind. Because of my Higher Power, I renew my joy periodically, meditate upon nothingness toward a renewal in Sacrifice given to me in a personal way. So, you see, my life now is filled with wonder, release of blots against humanity and nature. In short, I am forgiven, and not perfect seeking more of this Higher Power in my life in a personal way. I believe.
Published by elgwyn
I was a University and community college instructor before retiring. I also worked in fast food restaurants, and retail stores. I am an ordinary man writing for because I want to write and because my education prepared me to write; BA English lit, MA English, EdS higher education, and MFA creative writing, free verse poetry and essays. Blogs are an answer to high-priced self-publishing. Walt Whitman had to self-publish his first 1000 copies of the 1855 edition of Leaves of Grass because in 1855 poetry did not sell. Most poets make a living in other ways than writing. Wallace Stevens was an insurance executive, and TS Eliot was a banker. Many writers teach, and always there have been writers who have written because they needed to express their thoughts and feelings. They wrote not necessarily to make money but to express "the old universal truths of the human heart" according to Faulkner. Here I reach a wider audience I missed than by self-publishing, and I stand a better chance to reach a wider audience for less expense than self-publishing. I self-published my first books, Winter from Spring, and Meditations on Gratitude; poetry and photo books which were easier to self-publish than to seek a not to seek a publisher company. This blog allows me to write for an interested audience because I write poetry and personal essays. I write for a friendly audience and present to you a slice of my writing. Perhaps you will enjoy what you read. View more posts