Lost in rejection, or What did I do?

It’s been this way since long before, I don’t know when, so how do I include God in all of this? Where do I Start oh, my Creator, my God, am I like David, no murder? No adultery, like my father, there is no lust in my heart, oh Lord, where did it all begin–let’s face it, –a broken man because my only child, my daughter, so where do I get off, saying “my” and I don’t Know where I get off saying “I” so what do I say my Lord Jesus–how–can she say about this lonely young woman, and what to do when her Japanese cat dies, and can she see it coming is that when she sees me dying, shall I on my dying bed turn and say, “Laurel, I love you.” and won’t that be too late, to have cut me out of her life? Lord I hurt, it’s like I’m dead. Sh’ll call when I’m busy. Tit for tat? What’s set up like dominoes one, two, three, four, five, six, and on, and on, and on…when did I begin to lose her, why is she/ I’ll call her…..I tried a phone call me to her, probably it is obvious that I’m hurt and upset, it was a one way conversation, this young woman want’s nothing to do with me? what can I say. Where is God’s forgiveness– easier to ask God’s forgiveness, than to ask for your you of Jesus, I thought of curse, your daughter’s–dad, what do you want me to say? Do I just leave it at with her asking me to never say, “I’m proud” of my daughter, because “I’m a private person!”

Published by elgwyn

I was a University and community college instructor before retiring. I also worked in fast food restaurants, and retail stores. I am an ordinary man writing for because I want to write and because my education prepared me to write; BA English lit, MA English, EdS higher education, and MFA creative writing, free verse poetry and essays. Blogs are an answer to high-priced self-publishing. Walt Whitman had to self-publish his first 1000 copies of the 1855 edition of Leaves of Grass because in 1855 poetry did not sell. Most poets make a living in other ways than writing. Wallace Stevens was an insurance executive, and TS Eliot was a banker. Many writers teach, and always there have been writers who have written because they needed to express their thoughts and feelings. They wrote not necessarily to make money but to express "the old universal truths of the human heart" according to Faulkner. Here I reach a wider audience I missed than by self-publishing, and I stand a better chance to reach a wider audience for less expense than self-publishing. I self-published my first books, Winter from Spring, and Meditations on Gratitude; poetry and photo books which were easier to self-publish than to seek a not to seek a publisher company. This blog allows me to write for an interested audience because I write poetry and personal essays. I write for a friendly audience and present to you a slice of my writing. Perhaps you will enjoy what you read.

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