I yearn to Be free of Thought!!!

Is it possible to be ever, and forever free of thought? Most would argue it is not possible to be free of thought, “And to know the end is to know the place we started and know the end for the first time.” I admit that I am ignorant of everything beyond eight days from July 11, 2018.  This is the time when I will unveil vision from my cataract surgery. In fact, I do not know what will happen tomorrow because I leave most planning to my wife. Is this wrong? I’m not sure. So, how is one ever free of thinking. I am forever dealing, and this does sound like a card game, with the realities of my little life. One might argue that no life is little, that is all big in our own right, but perhaps the without something like being a true believer, there is nothing. I recall being saved at age seven, and the arguments that would ensue in my adult Sunday school class at First United Methodist Church in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. and now there are no arguments at Hartford United Methodist Church in Hartford, South Dakota.  God is. God was. God ever shall be. For me this is true. I have felt the Power of God just recently as I’ve experienced repentance for the first time. A person might argue that young ones have no experience, and therefore, nothing to repent from. There is the ultimate giving over of the self to become a child of God, and this done through the Love eternal of Jesus Christ, and there is no other way to break the chain of Thought than by accepting that Jesus, free of any crime, a PERFECT man, perhaps the only one ever conceived of woman mother Mary by the Holy Spirit in the name of God, and righteously brought up never to disobey parents or heavenly Father, thereby becoming and being the perfect one, that this is the beginning and the end, the alpha and omaga. We who claim Christianity as the one true path, are we any different than the Muslim so proclaiming Allah as eternal to be worshiped is it three times a day toward Mecca in prayer? Or is it four times a day, or does it matter? The Buddhist claims that Lord Buddha reigns supreme, and this unless one comes from North Asia, or Thailand, or Vietnam. So why does geography play such a role in how, when, and why one worships, and if or what one worships? In Japan, there is an amalgamation of religions, all claiming to be the right way, or away, or any way? Which way makes true repentance, and is true love or Love, or any Love possible? For me, there is this sick feeling today, partially because I am in excruciating pain, so not to talk about it, never to know God the most awful mistake I could make. So sometimes I do know the Grace of God, and sometimes liked tonight I am in horrible pain, where is God? At this moment when my eyeball is being squeezed from its socket, perhaps there is no God or perhaps this proves the reality of God in that I can FEEL, or it is Any of this enough? Why would God exist oh Jesus where are you with this nagging inexcusible pain I cannot ignore intirely through pain tollerance. Yes, how much can I endure?

Charles Taylor C2018

Published by elgwyn

I was a University and community college instructor before retiring. I also worked in fast food restaurants, and retail stores. I am an ordinary man writing for because I want to write and because my education prepared me to write; BA English lit, MA English, EdS higher education, and MFA creative writing, free verse poetry and essays. Blogs are an answer to high-priced self-publishing. Walt Whitman had to self-publish his first 1000 copies of the 1855 edition of Leaves of Grass because in 1855 poetry did not sell. Most poets make a living in other ways than writing. Wallace Stevens was an insurance executive, and TS Eliot was a banker. Many writers teach, and always there have been writers who have written because they needed to express their thoughts and feelings. They wrote not necessarily to make money but to express "the old universal truths of the human heart" according to Faulkner. Here I reach a wider audience I missed than by self-publishing, and I stand a better chance to reach a wider audience for less expense than self-publishing. I self-published my first books, Winter from Spring, and Meditations on Gratitude; poetry and photo books which were easier to self-publish than to seek a not to seek a publisher company. This blog allows me to write for an interested audience because I write poetry and personal essays. I write for a friendly audience and present to you a slice of my writing. Perhaps you will enjoy what you read.

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