My Religion is NOT for My Wife and That’s okay!!!!

You see–I have this peak religious EXPERIENCE–IT IS NOT FOR MY WIFE. She won’t let me talk about in our home, and that’s OKAY with me!!! I don’t mind, and when I forgot, she reminds me with a frown on her face. Now my experience is not unlike C S Lewis’s experience in his book SURPRISED BY JOY, and I love his books MEAR CHRISTIANITY, and THE PARALANDRA TRILOGY. These books along with GRACE by Max Lucado explain my beliefs about The New Testament. However, my wife loves and is committed to DISTURBING THE UNIVERSE by Freeman Dyson and Edith Hamilton’s Mythology, AND Scientific Explorers of the Cosmos are her forte. She was trained as a Cultural Anthropologist and there is no room for and divine intervention has absolutely no place in her vocabulary whereas faith in THE WORD of God through Jesus Christ is something I learn about every day. She is a scientist, and I am a mystic enjoying even books like Zen Mind, Beginner Mind, and Suzuki would say Buddhism never deals with religion because it simply does not explain God–it’s more a; philosophy of life and my wife will never have anything–not even to this. For her Creation even based on Darwin’s God. Tyson explains everything about the Universe, and she would call Christianity simply unknowable or even superstition though she expects the system of ethics begun by Abraham and Moses, even brotherly and sisterly love. However, she would say other cultures like the Chinese found much the same ethics, and pure Islam is also very close in terms of ethics, but none of this has much to do with God. At her closest, she might say we simply say that no one can know of the existence or nonexistence of God. I believe that David and Isah paved the way for the Son of God who is the Fulfillment of prophecy that he died on the cross of Calvery and rose from the dead to give us the beauty of enough faith for the remission of our sins, internal Grace.

We are at an impasse because I am an inspiring believer and a dear friend calls me a fresh Christian having recently been turning my life around with the help and divine love of Jesus Christ. I’m not fully there yet but I’m asking the right questions, and hate is gone. I very Much want the Love of Jesus to help me step in the full commitment to understanding scripture, the Holy Bible, the Word. So you see, we don’t speak of these things except in abstract ways where we both agree of Honesty and action to display Love. She has never said the words, “I love you.” However, in every way possible she SHOWS Love in her deeds. She has actually saved my life so many times that I can’t count them because my health is crappy. One time I was so out of it my wife and daughter had to dress me, take me to the ER where three days of observation confirmed I had actually had a reaction to meds that was killing me, and three weeks including two weeks in the Behavioral Health Hospital to wean me off a med and on to a different mood stabilizer, Only now have I been free of psychiatric intervention for a little more than a year, and now both my psychiatrist and my therapist agree that I’m mentally healthy, and I’m weaning myself away from two therapists, the one leaving treating chronic pain which I have turned entirely over to my primary care doctor who has taken me off one addictive drug and weened me down almost 40 mg down on the other pain medication. Today I’m healthy because of my wife, and I would say a boatload of prayer because with every hospitalization cam Christian clergy and prayer. Even several years as a Unitarian Universalist I told members I was a Christian and out of this experience came two great friends who believe somewhat like my wife. I would say I love the Lord and my wife is teaching me so much about honesty, this sober alcoholic of almost 31 years.

Charles Taylor C2918

Published by elgwyn

I was a University and college writing teacher, now retired, so I write poetry, and essays, mostly free verse poetry. I love writing. Computers, tablets, and smart phones are the norm. When one sees university campuses with students looking at phones while walking to class, one realizes writing can be blogging. I am an ordinary man writing for artistic pleasure writing, and simple taste-- blogs are an answer to high priced self-publishing. Walt Whitman had to print his paper books himself, because in 1855, and 1860 poetry did not sell. It does not sell now unless you have a Pulitzer Prize and even then the poet usually makes a living in other ways than writing. In all ages there have been writers writing out of their own needs, and blogs are an answer to get rid of high cost of self creativity. I am an older man with fewer computer skills than my daughter who has been at computers since she was three, so here I can satisfy my need to write without spending too much on self-published books. All three blogs let me reach an audience missed by books and stand a better chance to reach a wider audience. My two books, Winter from Spring, Meditations on Gratitude, as Kindle books and paperbacks did not reach as many people as I wanted, and blogs can let me avoid the printer. Layout and design is expensive. For me writing is more like the charcoal jottings of preexisting civilization made only for posterity. Blogs face two problems as I see it. They might be submerged into a chaos of too much writing, and they depend on electronic storage. Yet, how's that different from electronic books which must have specialized publication? Paper disintegrates, blogs can be physically stored and organized for posterity in data banks. All organization becomes chaos at some point, but charcoal images on cave walls still exist after the author scribbled eons ago. So what if I reach only a few interested people, but hopefully, readers will reach out to me. Writing is essential for showing the ways of culture before history knows those ways. To record each individual is essential especial for billions of people who need to know enough reading beyond pictures to save a planet. Writing without profit isn't new to me. I'm not seeking to impress the audience. Poetry in general never sells, and personal confessional, and emotional writing exists sometimes like journal writings only for the author. At least here is my hope for wider audiences. My writing is personal and informal, but my writing expresses some serious ideas like the writing of contemporary writers to rise above chaos in my own simple way, above self-absorption, a meditation, the simple writing of an ordinary man. I hope to find my own way out of my own chaos and make my record stand alone if even in electrons. Though I hope never to express nightmare in my poetry, fiction, or essays, some serious considerations are important to me after centuries of mechanized nightmare. The next decade is probably of the same failure in our world. This decade looks to be another time of diminished individuals and the next as well. We all wish peace and hope will become normal. It looks like if hope reaches each individual, not governments there is satisfaction in making means of writing available to many. My hope is for each human being to give their own expression out of the abyss. If humankind is to survive in any common way, we must each be able to express maturity and take responsibility in something beyond self. Electronic media offers people these possibilities so long as computers can store individual lives. Here people can freely see what I write and what others write. Though I hold an MFA in creative writing my simple vision never found a wide audience. I was disappointed about this earlier in my life, but now it's just what one expects of such degrees. I found happiness in family and especially in love of my wife and daughter. Writing can be more than a pastime now that I'm older. I approach seven decades living with some disappointing times, and some satisfying times. I'm like most people, and I've been married more than 37 years, and we sent a successful daughter into the world. We happily live in a country where even the poorest have food. Often as a young man when I traveled for nearly one year through Europe, where does a culture begin to feed and house so many people, and how do all these people live in harmony since World War II? Maybe it's been a question of survival. Writers can hold a little corner with blogging, blogging for harmony and peace. This is my hope. This is my question.

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