Yes, today I am honest. Today, just for today, God loves me for being honest, and honesty through consideration is the foundation of religious life. My honest and opaque being allows people to see who and what I am, without frills or lies with which I attempted to fool the world when I was outside of honesty. The problem was that I was still opaque, and everyone could see me anyway. God’s supreme sacrifice of the One he loved without question, and then that One’s defeat of death, “Oh death, where is thy sting.” Jesus, Immanuel, Anointed one descended from King David, a man on the run from God because of a defeat with honesty, David who spent his life repenting for a supreme act of dishonesty, adultery, lust, abandonment, and ultimately murder, this man who as a young boy had killed a giant with his sling and had become God’s anointed King of Isreal, and this man who left and hid from God as a man caught in his own deception, his own sacrifice of his life as he wrote some of the greatest poetry of the ancient world, depicting his coming back to God in suplication, Jesus desended from a man who saught the whole of his life attempting to gain God’s grace again. For me, this represents who I had become, and I was on the run from God most of my life. One day at a time, all any of us have, I seek to not only be opaque but to be honest with God through my savior Jesus the Anointed One, the Son of God that taketh away the sin of the world and through Whose death and ultimate defeat of death, and through my belief in Him, I have God’s favor, and if I can live one day right with God, maybe I can live the next one free of dishonesty. I have come clean with the things I thought I had hidden away so that God could not see them. The problem was that people could see me anyway, all the misdeeds and calculations, all the half-truths, all the outright lies, and murder in my mind, covetousness of things I could not afford, my attempts to hide all this under a haze of drugs and alcohol I just had to admit what was for me the defeat, the bank book. I am still, through my actions coming out from under the bank book, but my actions show I am making it. So be it oh God, through Jesus, by His Holy Spirit, Amen.
Published by elgwyn
I was a University and community college instructor before retiring. I also worked in fast food restaurants, and retail stores. I am an ordinary man writing for because I want to write and because my education prepared me to write; BA English lit, MA English, EdS higher education, and MFA creative writing, free verse poetry and essays. Blogs are an answer to high-priced self-publishing. Walt Whitman had to self-publish his first 1000 copies of the 1855 edition of Leaves of Grass because in 1855 poetry did not sell. Most poets make a living in other ways than writing. Wallace Stevens was an insurance executive, and TS Eliot was a banker. Many writers teach, and always there have been writers who have written because they needed to express their thoughts and feelings. They wrote not necessarily to make money but to express "the old universal truths of the human heart" according to Faulkner. Here I reach a wider audience I missed than by self-publishing, and I stand a better chance to reach a wider audience for less expense than self-publishing. I self-published my first books, Winter from Spring, and Meditations on Gratitude; poetry and photo books which were easier to self-publish than to seek a not to seek a publisher company. This blog allows me to write for an interested audience because I write poetry and personal essays. I write for a friendly audience and present to you a slice of my writing. Perhaps you will enjoy what you read. View more posts