In Retrospect, We Won’t Tell

I’ve had worse–this Christianity is not new, and as I was a member, and even a committed member, how do you like that Word?, of First United Methodist, I left in a huff over my first book, not Christian enough for their Library. Hence, I knew that I had to write a second book, maintaining my Christianity in spite of all, and no all this is not new; concern for family is never new, and me hedging my bets with God so that I can say, “They believe!” Well, my wife who I understand and love with no hesitation, has made it clear. She wants no part of my renewed zeal, and that Christ has no part in her life. We have come to a truce; I will never again mention any kind of work about house, yard, grocery shopping, etc. etc. etc. AND never again will she attack any beliefs I might hold: Christian, Buddhist, Taoist, Scientific (we have no problem here). Technically, the HOUSE, etc is hers. She bought and paid for it all, and in my will, I leave it all to her, if I leave after, Laurel daughter gets it all. This is ALL spelled out in my will, and as of now, she leaves the house etc. up to the state. I am technically taken care of in other ways!

So, arrangements, note the passive voice, have been made for both of us. Meanwhile, I fret about her, Laurel in my own mind, and That’s the way it will remain–in my own heart and mind.

So, for me it’s Easter weekend, and I do Love Jesus, no different than before I was a Lutheran a decade ago, an uneasy Lutheran though my first book is in the First Lutheran Library in Sioux Falls, and both books, though I AM relatively sure they have been removed after I discontinued my memberships with Unitarian Universalist, were in All Souls Sioux Falls Church Library. BOTH BOOKS are in the Grinnell College Library, and both books are in the Platte Campus, Central Community College, Library, and of All of this I am sure! FOR JESUS, I am finally the Christian I always wanted, and I practice meditation, as I am allowed in Treeleaf online Zendo.

My Pastor, Jan Gross, Hartford United Methodist, has bought and read the second book, and he says he likes it. I know it is a very good book. I know, because of royalty checks, Meditations on Gratitude by Charles E Taylor, photos, and 55 poem sequence, has sold more than Winter from Spring, containing my CSU MFA thesis, photos, and more than 45 poems extra, by Charles Taylor. Both books remain available through Barnes and Noble, and Amazon. This means that they are indefinitely available. Bill Tremblay, and Mark Sanderson, Prof. Emeritus CSU, Unitarian Universalist Member M Div, both endorsed my book, Meditations on Gratitude, and Bill Hotchkiss, Ph D English, endorsed ane wrote a lengthy poetic analysis, introduction, of the first book  Winter from Spring. Okay, Charles, it’s time to let it all rest. Books and Family, however they are, are what they are. Let it rest.

Published by elgwyn

I was a University and college writing teacher, now retired, so I write poetry, and essays, mostly free verse poetry. I love writing. Computers, tablets, and smart phones are the norm. When one sees university campuses with students looking at phones while walking to class, one realizes writing can be blogging. I am an ordinary man writing for artistic pleasure writing, and simple taste-- blogs are an answer to high priced self-publishing. Walt Whitman had to print his paper books himself, because in 1855, and 1860 poetry did not sell. It does not sell now unless you have a Pulitzer Prize and even then the poet usually makes a living in other ways than writing. In all ages there have been writers writing out of their own needs, and blogs are an answer to get rid of high cost of self creativity. I am an older man with fewer computer skills than my daughter who has been at computers since she was three, so here I can satisfy my need to write without spending too much on self-published books. All three blogs let me reach an audience missed by books and stand a better chance to reach a wider audience. My two books, Winter from Spring, Meditations on Gratitude, as Kindle books and paperbacks did not reach as many people as I wanted, and blogs can let me avoid the printer. Layout and design is expensive. For me writing is more like the charcoal jottings of preexisting civilization made only for posterity. Blogs face two problems as I see it. They might be submerged into a chaos of too much writing, and they depend on electronic storage. Yet, how's that different from electronic books which must have specialized publication? Paper disintegrates, blogs can be physically stored and organized for posterity in data banks. All organization becomes chaos at some point, but charcoal images on cave walls still exist after the author scribbled eons ago. So what if I reach only a few interested people, but hopefully, readers will reach out to me. Writing is essential for showing the ways of culture before history knows those ways. To record each individual is essential especial for billions of people who need to know enough reading beyond pictures to save a planet. Writing without profit isn't new to me. I'm not seeking to impress the audience. Poetry in general never sells, and personal confessional, and emotional writing exists sometimes like journal writings only for the author. At least here is my hope for wider audiences. My writing is personal and informal, but my writing expresses some serious ideas like the writing of contemporary writers to rise above chaos in my own simple way, above self-absorption, a meditation, the simple writing of an ordinary man. I hope to find my own way out of my own chaos and make my record stand alone if even in electrons. Though I hope never to express nightmare in my poetry, fiction, or essays, some serious considerations are important to me after centuries of mechanized nightmare. The next decade is probably of the same failure in our world. This decade looks to be another time of diminished individuals and the next as well. We all wish peace and hope will become normal. It looks like if hope reaches each individual, not governments there is satisfaction in making means of writing available to many. My hope is for each human being to give their own expression out of the abyss. If humankind is to survive in any common way, we must each be able to express maturity and take responsibility in something beyond self. Electronic media offers people these possibilities so long as computers can store individual lives. Here people can freely see what I write and what others write. Though I hold an MFA in creative writing my simple vision never found a wide audience. I was disappointed about this earlier in my life, but now it's just what one expects of such degrees. I found happiness in family and especially in love of my wife and daughter. Writing can be more than a pastime now that I'm older. I approach seven decades living with some disappointing times, and some satisfying times. I'm like most people, and I've been married more than 37 years, and we sent a successful daughter into the world. We happily live in a country where even the poorest have food. Often as a young man when I traveled for nearly one year through Europe, where does a culture begin to feed and house so many people, and how do all these people live in harmony since World War II? Maybe it's been a question of survival. Writers can hold a little corner with blogging, blogging for harmony and peace. This is my hope. This is my question.

One thought on “In Retrospect, We Won’t Tell

  1. Reblogged this on poet828 and commented:

    I have written my heart out with both books–just a few tears, and both Laurel, and Marjorie have copies; Marjorie has read both, and in fact acted as secretary, editor, on much of the first!

    Like

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